It is contagious to be in love. As a result, the greatest approach to encourage your spouse to be more romantic is to be more romantic yourself. Here are six simple methods to accomplish precisely that.
1. Get sentimental. Remembering not to take each other for granted accounts for 98% of romance. So, recall those initial exciting moments that made you fall in love: the first time you met, your first date, your first kiss, your first time nude together, the first time you had teary, face-holding, we-adore-each-other sex on a daily basis to reawaken long-lost crush sensations. Remember how fortunate you imagined you’d be if you ended up together for the long haul—especially when their chewing style starts to irritate you.
2. Don’t disclose too much information. The line between intimacy and TMI is thin. We’re not suggesting you never pee in front of each other, but is it too much to ask that you keep your #2s to yourself? When it comes to removing stray face and body hairs, locking the bathroom door can be a smart idea. Request that your partner reciprocate. Consider it some great alone time to treat yourself.
3. Go on dates with someone. Someone recently informed us that calling it a “date night” is hopelessly suburban. Save “cool” for your clothes and music collection, and embrace “cheese” in your relationship, we suggest. Dinner and a movie has been a long-standing tradition for a reason: it works! Besides, how is your spouse expected to know that you want them to change out of their old college sweatshirt and behave all date-like if you don’t label it a date night? Calling it a date night works more than subtle suggestions. If you truly can’t bear saying those two words, assist them out by getting them a new clothing for the occasion—or just ask them to wear an outfit you like.
4. Give or receive “just because” presents or goodies. Don’t wait until the official romantic holidays to give your spouse a meaningful gift—anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine’s Day—to do so. Surprising them with something unexpected demonstrates that they are on your mind, that you don’t take them for granted, and that you care about them even on non-holiday days. On a random Sunday, bring them breakfast in bed with their favorite part of the newspaper (and sure, “favorite section of the newspaper” may also be a euphemism for “fantastic oral sex”). If you don’t convince them that they didn’t miss a significant anniversary, their thoughts will be racing all day.
5. Play with your PDA at random. Just enough to boost your everyday physical touch and show to the world (or even just your cat) that you’re in love. When at all feasible, hold hands. Give a kiss on the cheek now and then, and a hug afterwards. Don’t forget the odd sly touch on the behind. Even a 20-second embrace boosts oxytocin levels, according to studies, and oxytocin is the Hallmark card of the hormone world.
6. Make love letters. There’s no need to write flowery love notes or cheesy poetry (though the romantic potential of a sweet and funny love haiku cannot be overestimated). Simply send an occasional “thinking of you” email, along with a surprise “miss you already” message. Make a heart around your initials on the steamed bathroom mirror or stick a Post-It note in his business travel bag.
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